The tipster writes:

Press and Landry spent three days going to their six business areas for dealer conferences. They said, “If all you dealers do not order your Feb and March allocation, Chrysler will liquidate.” How’s that for a pep talk sales pitch? Not only that, but they also said there’s a 50/50 chance they will liquidate even if we do order. So, according to Press and Landry, the only chance we have to save our dealership is to overload our stock. An Iowa dealer asked, “What if we can’t afford 40 new units because our bank won’t floor them?” Press answered, “Then we’ll liquidate.” So they are selling fear to their dealers. Go buy our shit NOW or you won’t have a dealership. The Fiat deal was just to be able to export Dodge trucks to Europe, that’s the nuts and bolts on that “merger of equals.” Chrysler’s suits also described the talks with GM: “We went on a date with Nissan, had sex, and they got some trucks we got some cars. Then it was 2AM, we were drunk and started talking romantically with our cousins at GM, we realized that our children would have crooked teeth.” God I love this business.

We are like fish swimming wide-eyed through an ocean of blood that no longer taste the horror in which we are suspended. On Dec. 19th, eight days after the automotive bailout bill failed in the senate, former President George W. Bush used his executive power to direct $13.4 billion to the automotive industry — $9.4 billion for General Motors and $4 billion for Chrysler. This is a measure only 36 percent of the country supported, according to a December CNN poll. The cost of this bailout will be tossed atop the $10.6 trillion U.S. debt, according to the treasury. This is a debt our generation will be forced to spend its lifetime repaying.

GM may be avoiding death with Uncle Sugar’s $13.4b (and counting) bridge loans to nowhere. But it’s not doing so well on the tax front. The Detroit News reports that GM’s been “quietly” lobbying Uncle Sam to drop a $7b tax bill. Without success. OK, folks, hang onto your green shades. “The tax liability stems from GM’s plan to reduce its $62 billion debt to $30 billion by offering bondholders equity in exchange for existing debt. GM also wants to use stock rather than cash to fund half of its contributions to a retiree health care fund to be managed by the UAW. But the debt swapped for equity could be considered income for tax purposes and GM’s ability to offset that income with prior-year losses, a common accounting practice, is sharply limited under a complex provision of the 1986 tax code that applies when a company changes ownership. The code was written to limit the ability of companies to buy other money-losing companies just to avoid paying taxes. GM plans to issue new stock to bondholders and the UAW and has already issued the government warrants, which may trigger a ‘technical ownership change,’ GM said in its memo.” And thus, a $7b tax bill. Now, let’s define chutzpah.

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The UAW has approved terms of a possible deal that would send GM’s Flint, MI, medium-duty commercial truck business to Isuzu. The deal, though not completed, would keep the assembly line’s UAW workforce building GMC TopKick and Chevrolet Kodiak trucks until 2014. UAW Local 598 Shop Chairman Mark Hawkins tells MLive that a GM-Isuzu deal would be best for workers considering GM’s financial struggles and its desire to shed the commercial truck business. “We got [sic] close to 500 people who work on that product line,” says Hawkins. “This keeps that work in Flint for the next six years.” GM had previously planned to sell the business to Navistar, which would have moved production to its Springfield, OH, plant. According to UAW officials, the Navistar deal fell through because GM no longer wanted to move ahead with production of a super-heavy-duty pickup product at Flint Truck. GM is currently “assessing various strategic options for the business” saying, “no decisions have been reached and there are no details to share at this time.” While UAW members are sweating out news about the future of their jobs, may I suggest they take a moment to reflect on how much worse things could be?

and could only write tickets for ONE infraction, what it would it be? For me, it’s failure to stop at a stop sign. I live in a neighborhood that looks a bit like the one in Lady in the Tramp. We’ve got wide sidewalks, Victorian houses, well-groomed canines, equally well-groomed Swamp Yankees, a property tax bill that could crush rocks, the works. As the proud owner of four daughters and two dogs, I’m keenly aware that the sidewalks are often used for recreation: walking, running, bicycling, skateboarding, etc. (And that’s just the dogs.) So when I see a motorist blow through a four-way stop sign at speed, usually clutching a cell phone, I wish the capitol city would re-instate capital punishment. For some reason, I’m even more narked by R.I. motorists’ near-universal propensity to perform a so-called “rolling stop” at octagon-marked intersections. What part of STOP are you having trouble with? The real danger here: countless drivers perform this maneuver whilst turning at an intersection. They don’t bother checking to see if anyone’s crossing. The resulting carnage isn’t pretty. [see: above]. And I’ve seen cops watch drivers execute this illegal maneuver right in front of them, without batting a single chowderhead. So, what’s in your fictional ticket pad?

Rumors of GM channel-stuffing became reality when we heard that the General was forcing dealers to take on unwanted inventory to qualify for incentive cash. And while the smaller dealers are stuck between a rock and a hard place, big boys like AutoNation at least have enough clout to make a choice. And CNN reports that AutoNation has told GM where it can stick its overstock. GM and Chrysler “have implemented wholesale incentive programs where they basically say to get the incentives for the inventory you want, you have to buy more inventory,” AutoNation CEO Mike Jackson said Thursday with his trademark subtlety. “The channel is full, and they are trying to stuff more in. I think this is the wrong thing to do. We are not playing that game.” Meanwhile, GM and Chrysler are exhorting their dealers to take more unwanted inventory. While on a sales drum-up dealership tour last week, Chrysler Vice Chairman Jim Press said the automaker needs dealers to begin ordering vehicles because the “downside could be a lot worse” if orders don’t increase. For the OEMs, anyway. AutoNation’s fourth quarter sales dropped 34 percent, although $200 million in cuts and $750 million in debt paydown last year have helped keep the retailer afloat. “We do believe that there’s the possibility of an improvement in March if credit really begins to thaw, but we are taking a wait-and-see attitude,” Jackson said. “We want to see it before we’ll stop at that level.”

If you answered yes to both questions, chances are you’re feeling relatively isolated from the economic pressures of the recession. Congratulations! Now go treat yourself to one of these iPhone applications compiled by CarType. Thanks to the power of Steve Jobs you can now shop for car insurance, look up the lowest gas prices in town, receive RSS updates on cars for sale, receive press releases from MINI, VW and Mercedes Benz, calculate your mileage, look up EPA ratings, receive traffic alerts in a number of countries, and play a plethora of time-wasting games all from your phone. Delphi’s James Bond-like bluetooth control for complete vehicle systems (first teased a year ago) is, sadly, still not available on the consumer market.

Gentlemen, start your “German Engineering” jokes! The Windsor Star reports that Chrysler’s Windsor Assembly Plant has received a “no build” order for Routans in the month of February, despite workers returning from a long winter break on February second. According to a union local official, VW requested a month’s furlough of Routan production, “in order to adjust their inventory. Sales are slow across the board and VW is no different.” Local 444 President Rick LaPorte calls the no build order “worrisome in terms of volumes.” Windsor had been assembling 300 Routans per day, but with 30k of the rebadged Caravans sitting in the VW dealer net, slow sales are becoming a major concern. VW sold 8,812 Routans last year, falling well short of the pace needed to meet sales goals of 35k units per year (3k-4k per month). Read TTAC’s review of the Routan here.