Bailout Watch 354: Chrysler + Fiat = Ponzi

Robert Farago
by Robert Farago

During the first round of Motown bailout begging, professional wordsmiths made the connection between Detroit’s $17.4b “bridge loan” request and Alaska’s “bridge to nowhere.” Thus “bridge loan to nowhere.” In fact, the Granvina Island Bridge project would have opened-up the Alaskan archipelago to real estate and tourist development. Boondoggle yes, but one with a long historical precedent and a reasonable expectation of some sort of commercial (i.e. taxpayer) return. In contrast, Chrysler’s supposed tie-up with Fiat is a genuine scam. The idea that Chrysler can become a viable automaker by re-engineering Fiat automobiles for the hugely competitive U.S. market is patently ridiculous. But not for Congress, the entity that offers the ailing American automaker its only hope for survival (cash). At least that’s the plan. And the man with the plan is ChryCo 300 designer Ralph Gilles. Speaking at The Automotive News World Congress [sub], Ralph told the world that he loves him some Italian. Well he would, wouldn’t he? But the details have to be seen to be believed. Or not, as the case may be.

“When you look at our portfolio, it is somewhat truck heavy, very practical vehicles, SUVs, four-wheel-drive,” Ralphy admitted. “Great for this climate, but maybe not the overall solution that we need. So they [Fiat] come in and complement us.”

Somewhat truck heavy? Is he really saying that America’s SUV fascination was a meteorological phenomena? And wouldn’t it be better for all concerned if Fiat came in and complimented Chrysler, instead of complementing it? Or maybe just hitting reset? Anyway, what pray tell are the Italians bringing to the bailout buffet, albeit in a couple of years hence, when Chrysler doesn’t exist?

“Gilles said Fiat is very strong in the small-car segments known as the A, B and C segments in Europe, so vehicles that size ‘make sense for Chrysler.’ Fiat’s Ferrari, Alfa Romeo, Lancia and Maserati brands will not be part of the alliance.

“There may be situations where we can bring their vehicles in as is and there will be great opportunities to do products based on the Fiat DNA.”

I know many American members of our Best and Brightest long for small cars with European flair. And God knows our federal legislators have the hots for high mileage econoboxes. But there’s no evidence whatsoever that A) Americans actually want small cars (excluding the MINI’s fashionista niche) and B) that an Italian car could be federalized and imported here at a profit.

But Gilles knows that his boss wants him to sell the sizzle. (If he doesn’t, that’s sad.) So sell he does.

“‘The Fiat 500 has taken Europe by storm. They can’t make it fast enough.’ Gilles said he and his wife drove the 500. ‘It is such a fun package. I think Americans, given the chance, will fall in love with this thing.'”

I guess love is both blind and stupid. Even so, you just know our Congress critters are going to buy it. (The idea, not the 500, obviously.) In fact, I’ve got a bridge in Alaska I’d like to sell them.

Robert Farago
Robert Farago

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  • TheRealAutoGuy TheRealAutoGuy on Jan 22, 2009

    The more likely it becomes that Chrysler could survive, the louder the objections from some. How truly sad. One would think they would want to see their loan repaid. I, for one, would like to see Chrysler succeed. And yes, Fiat too.

  • TheRealAutoGuy TheRealAutoGuy on Jan 22, 2009

    BTW, Ralph is a really smart, good guy. A fine designer, too. I suspect he will not last long at Chrysler; there is a fair amount of mobility in the designer ranks, and Ralph (note to Farago: Please call him Ralph, not Ralphy. After all, this is not "A Christmas Story." :-) ) may indeed go to the highest bidder. If he does go, he will be lauded as one of the Best and Brightest in his field, and many will sing his praises. Many of those who will sing his praises, I suspect, are those now dismissing him because he works for Chrysler. It's happened with other designers, and yes, they all know the risks. You heard it here first.

  • MaintenanceCosts It's not a Benz or a Jag / it's a 5-0 with a rag /And I don't wanna brag / but I could never be stag
  • 3-On-The-Tree Son has a 2016 Mustang GT 5.0 and I have a 2009 C6 Corvette LS3 6spd. And on paper they are pretty close.
  • 3-On-The-Tree Same as the Land Cruiser, emissions. I have a 1985 FJ60 Land Cruiser and it’s a beast off-roading.
  • CanadaCraig I would like for this anniversary special to be a bare-bones Plain-Jane model offered in Dynasty Green and Vintage Burgundy.
  • ToolGuy Ford is good at drifting all right... 😉
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