AT&T To Launch In-Car Satellite TV
Kids rule, telecoms drool. In this case, AT&T figures pester power will entice car owners to stump-up $1299 and $28 a month for an in-car satellite TV system. That and installation charges for a roof-mounted antenna pod thingie that will do for automotive aerodynamics what the Olsen twins did for the food pyramid. AT&T calls the service “ Cruisecast,” ignoring the obvious connection to the Al Pacino movie and lifestyle choice known as Cruising. And what’s with that satellite following the car? Anyway, “A final channel lineup is still being developed,” PC World reveals, quoting this morning’s press release. “But AT&T says it will include lots of family-friendly entertainment, including Disney Channel, Disney XD, Discovery Kids, Animal Planet, Nickelodeon, Cartoon Network Mobile, USA, COMEDY CENTRAL, MSNBC, CNN Mobile Live and CNBC.” I know what you’re thinking: HOW much? And if you’re geeky, you’ll wonder how AT&T TV can keep on keeping on when it’s out of sight of the company’s birds. All hail its “breakthrough buffering technology keeps the show going even when you’re under a tunnel or other line-of-site obstacle.” Just in case that doesn’t fly with car buyers/owners, Avis and Budget car will offer Cruisecast in some of its rental cars for $9 a day or $63 a week. Or you could just toss a couple of iPhones in back.
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Well if they keep bumping up the power of those sattelites, we won't need receivers to get the signal; our brains will absorb and reconstruct the images, but of course, they'll be "scrambled". And (of course) AT&T will offer brain implants at various levels of service. (Automagically disabled at land speeds over 3MPH) I think this fantasy was spurred by the strange "skullbone" antenna, there.
Whatever happened to reading a book or listening to your iPod during a road trip? Now you know why I prefer 90s cars, of if I have to have a new car, a stripper or econobox, because I think features like this are stupid. What is next, an arm that will jerk you off while you drive?
Assuming that the combination of AT&T's equipment and service provides a picture quality that's roughly equivalent to the combination of DIRECTV and that firm's preferred mobile receiver, this actually sounds like a pretty good deal for a vehicle-mounted satellite TV system. After all, the KVH car-mounted receiver has an MSRP of $2995, with a DIRECTV Mobile package price of $49.99 per month (note, though, that the DIRECTV package is likely [though not certain] to include more channels than AT&T will offer). Determining the actual cost-effectiveness and utility of en-route satellite TV is, of course, left as an exercise for the student....