Bailout Watch 228: Of All The Gin Joints In All The World…

Edward Niedermeyer
by Edward Niedermeyer

In a press conference today, congressional leadership announced that it would not shut the door on a possible automaker bailout, giving the Detroit 3 until December 2 to come up with a plan to restructure their businesses. Which means the three stooges could be back in DC for an encore performance of their hit comedy routine “$25b, Please.” “The best way to proceed is to give them another opportunity to make their case, to the Congress and the American people,” says Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV). “The key here is accountability and viability. That’s what we’re seeking. That’s not too much to ask.” Or is it? The compromise that was reached earlier today was nixed by Reid and Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi (D-CA), not because it lacked accountability, but because it would likely have stripped efficiency retooling requirements from the already-appropriated $25b loan fund. So, instead Pelosi and Reid assigned an essay to Detroit’s CEOs entitled “how I would spend $25b to turn my company around.” The due date is December 2, and they must be typed and double-spaced. Don’t forget to show your work.

Once plans are submitted, they will be reviewed by the House Financial Services Committee. Senator Chris Dodd (D-CT) also said his Senate Banking Committee was prepared to hold additional hearings as well. In short, we should all get an early Christmas treat in the form of a suitably humbled Detroit contingent jetpooling to DC for what we can only expect will be some far more contrite testimony. Unless of course they follow UAW boss Ron Gettelfinger’s lead and pretend like the hearings never happened.

Meanwhile, the White House is a bit miffed that Reid blocked a vote on the afore-mentioned compromise, which the President supports “Unfortunately it looks like Sen. Reid just wants to pick up his ball and go home for the next two weeks – two months – for vacation,” said White House spokesperson Dana Perinno. Reid shot right back that the President can instruct Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson to bail Detroit out with TARP funds any time he wants to, if he feels so strongly about it. Bush and Paulson have already ruled this option out. So, it’s back to the old waiting game.

Edward Niedermeyer
Edward Niedermeyer

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  • TexN TexN on Nov 20, 2008

    Picking up on the brilliant "term paper" theme, I'm picturing the scene from A Christmas Story when Ralphie gets his paper handed back to him. Only this time it will be Pelosi handing Ricky his paper with a big red "C" on it as she says, "You'll shoot your eye out!"

  • Jolo Jolo on Nov 20, 2008

    Tell the Debt3 CEOs that congress want to see their business plans for the past 10 years, both yours and those who you have succeeded. Show the original documents with the dates (electronic copies with a date stamp would be better) and how they justified the fact they did not accomplish their goals. There will be a lot of finger pointing towards those who left the position (except Red Ink Rick), but give them until tomorrow morning to get everything together. They should be on file in their respective headquarters.

  • Ronin It's one thing to stay tried and true to loyal past customers; you'll ensure a stream of revenue from your installed base- maybe every several years or so.It's another to attract net-new customers, who are dazzled by so many other attractive offerings that have more cargo capacity than that high-floored 4-Runner bed, and are not so scrunched in scrunchy front seats.Like with the FJ Cruiser: don't bother to update it, thereby saving money while explaining customers like it that way, all the way into oblivion. Not recognizing some customers like to actually have right rear visibility in their SUVs.
  • MaintenanceCosts It's not a Benz or a Jag / it's a 5-0 with a rag /And I don't wanna brag / but I could never be stag
  • 3-On-The-Tree Son has a 2016 Mustang GT 5.0 and I have a 2009 C6 Corvette LS3 6spd. And on paper they are pretty close.
  • 3-On-The-Tree Same as the Land Cruiser, emissions. I have a 1985 FJ60 Land Cruiser and it’s a beast off-roading.
  • CanadaCraig I would like for this anniversary special to be a bare-bones Plain-Jane model offered in Dynasty Green and Vintage Burgundy.
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