By on November 6, 2008

Fornication seems to be part and parcel of the heavy metal business: Salesmen do it to their customers, corporations do it to taxpayers, fornication-for-euros helped VeeDub bring the unions in check (and jail,) Porsche fornicates hedge funds, F1 Mosely caught being spanked by dominatrixes (link NSFW, especially THAT one) and the list goes on. What do you think the deeper meaning of “Fahrvergnügen” really was? How could someone who owns a good chunk of BMW stand aside when everybody’s doing it? And so it happened: Susanne Klatten, born as Susanne Hanna Ursula Quandt on 28 April 1962 in Bad Homburg in Germany, is, according to Bloomberg, the wealthiest woman of Germany. Forbes has her on #55 of their list of the world’s billiopersons. Married, three kids. Germany’s average soccer mom. And why would TTAC express an interest in the lady? The interest is strictly professional: Together with her mother Johanna and her brother Stephan, Frau Klatten owns 46 percent of BMW. Susanne’s father, Herbert Quandt, made headlines and a lot of money in 1959, when he bought the near bankrupt BMW for a song. Daughter Susie, commonly painted as “shy” and “withdrawn,” also owned a nagging desire for more nookie. Husband Jan Klatten, himself a BMW engineer when the couple met, apparently was more interested in propshaft couplings than in the biblical sense of the part. And then the void was filled. So to speak…

By Helg Sgarbi, an Italian (some say Swiss) scoundrel and swordsman, who bedded the heiress, usually in the appropriate 5-star digs in Munich and Monte Carlo. Little did Frau Klatten know that she was filmed-– or make that videoed– in the act. Sgarbi’s co-conspirator, Ernani Baretta, worked the equipment from an adjoining suite. Sgarbi fornicated on Baretta’s (68) behalf.

Then, the money part. First, Sgarbi told Frau Klatten a tear-jerker story that he was blackmailed by the mafia. Susanne “saved” her sweetheart to the tune of €7.5m. Sgarbi, having found a sucker in more ways than one, wanted more, more, more. A DVD was received by Frau Klatten, showing Susanne receiving fulfillment from the Swiss-Italian gigolo. That DVD came with a demand for a cool €40m. At that point, Frau Klatten said “fornicate it” (or words to that effect) and sought the help of the police. As tactfully as possible, Baretta was arrested in Italy, Sgarbi was detained either in Austria or Italy (accounts differ) and both were extradited to BMW’s hometown Munich, where they are rotting in the Stadelheim jail, awaiting the trial by a surely highly unsympathetic judge.

Baretta turned out to be a leader of a strange sect in Italy, and Sgarbi was his stud. In the picturesque Pescosansonesco, prossimo (near) Pescara, Baretta kept a throng of submissive signoras who gave him everything. Their love and their money. Baretta wanted more, and got it. According to rumors in Deutschland and Switzerland, Baretta had sexy scoundrel Sgarbi bed numerous high profile ladies, some friends of Klatten. And Susi didn’t surround herself with social security recipients. More shoes are sure to drop. Or not. After all, Susi took the fall for her friends.

In the meantime, the matter is being handled in Munich as discreetly as a cat that absconded from the bag allows. BMW has the usual “Kein Kommentar.” Both blackmailers will have their days in court next year, and very possibly (BMW is one of Bavaria’s biggest employers), Frau Klatten may be saved the embarrassment of an appearance as an extramarital witness. Munich’s Senior Prosecutor Anton Winkler “can’t say at this point in time” whether Susi shall be called. What was BMW’s latest tagline? “Less emissions. More driving pleasure.”

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23 Comments on “Geil! Beemer-Heiress Fornicated, Filmed, And Fornicated Again...”


  • avatar
    Rday

    Always good to see the the ultra rich make complete fools of themselves. But maybe her husband could care less.

  • avatar
    Stingray

    This thing is worthless without pics, vids, etc…

  • avatar

    According to prevailing lore, Herr Klatten didn’t even know she was flush when they met. Susanne then Quandt worked under the Pseudonym Susanne Kant (get it? Kant … Quandt …) as a lowly intern at BMW’s Regensburg plant when cupid’s dart punctured Engineer Klatten.

    The news are coming in fast and furious now. You think the story was crazy? Get this:

    Baretta says, it was an act of revenge. To avenge the plight of Jewish slave laborers who had been shipped by the Nazis to BMW. He just said that. One of his relatives, says Baretta, was one of those. Never mind that Italians are more catholic than the (now German) pope.

    We haven’t heard the last of this. German papers are already taunting other loaded ladies with their knowledge of trysts with the scoundrel. Says Die Welt: “At least four rich German ladies succumbed to his charm: Klatten, Marie Lusie H., Elfriede R. and Monika S. “

    Their full identity will only last seconds.

    @stingray: The Munich prosecutor has the DVD.

  • avatar
    AKM

    That sounds like a lot of fun….

  • avatar
    craiggbear

    Two words: “who cares”.

    GM’s BoD has been doing this to its shareholders for years and no one seems to care either.

  • avatar
    Stingray

    Bertel Schmitt :
    @stingray: The Munich prosecutor has the DVD.

    But we don’t, that was my point.

    But don’t worry, it will find its way to the interwebz soon. Take that for granted.

  • avatar
    Richard Chen

    Thanks, Bertel. When this story broke, the English-language articles were light on the saucy details.

  • avatar
    NickR

    Dang, if I’d thought of this back when I was bedding all those heiresses I could be retired.

  • avatar
    psarhjinian

    It’s tasteless, but it has to be said. Please forgive me:

    “Pics, or it didn’t happen.”

  • avatar
    TireGuy

    And why are you making such a big story out of this? Do you believe people are in their feelings so much different than normal people? They love and have affairs as everyone else.

    I find it a shame that TTAC which is covering the autmotive industry so well is hopping on this type of story. Sad.

  • avatar

    @Tireguy: So you say, Clinton’s safe sex should have remained unreported? Maybe you’re right.

    Trust me: In most of Europe, if a high placed person has a fling or is gay, it’s not a story. Being videoed with a gigolo and blackmailed for €40m is a story, rich or poor. Bigger story when rich. When your family owns half of a car company, story for TTAC.

    But I agree with you: People’s prurient interest in these matters is disgusting.

  • avatar
    Wolven

    Hilariously written, and the title… priceless, absolutely priceless.

    Thanx for the great entertainment.

  • avatar
    50merc

    “Baretta kept a throng of submissive signoras who gave him everything. Their love and their money. Baretta wanted more, and got it. According to rumors … Baretta had sexy scoundrel Sgarbi bed numerous high profile ladies.”
    “Says Die Welt: ‘At least four rich German ladies succumbed to his charm: Klatten, Marie Lusie H., Elfriede R. and Monika S.’ ”

    WT..er, I mean, wow! Sgarbi must be the ultimate driving machine.

  • avatar
    1996MEdition

    Since Sgarbi is in jail, is there a position open? Where do I send my resume?

  • avatar
    Mud

    wow! Sgarbi must be the ultimate driving machine.

    50merc, absolutely classic line.

  • avatar
    Johnny Canada

    The mass-circulation daily Bild said Klatten, a 46-year-old married mother-of-three, had first met the 43-year-old Swiss at a hotel bar. It said he had described himself as a multilingual special envoy for war zones, although in reality he sold chicken at a fast food stand.

  • avatar

    I bet he was multilingual ….

  • avatar

    No google images of either penetrators perpetrators…

  • avatar

    Bertel Schmitt
    Baretta says, it was an act of revenge. To avenge the plight of Jewish slave laborers who had been shipped by the Nazis to BMW. He just said that. One of his relatives, says Baretta, was one of those. Never mind that Italians are more catholic than the (now German) pope.

    I agree with your skepticism, but not for the stated reason. There are certainly plenty of Italian Jews, including my former neighbor Nobel laureate Salvador Luria.

  • avatar

    I do recall a survey somewhere that showed that BMW owners had more sex than drivers of other cars, Porsche, etc, included.

    Proof ? Although I thought that if you were smart enough to own a major conglomerate, that you’d be smart enough to see around this. I guess it’s a “lucky sperm club” situation here in more ways than one.

    She has no security at her level ? Not that you should need it, but common sense would dictate that you would be a target of a lot of things, blackmail and kidnapping among them.

  • avatar
    psarhjinian

    She has no security at her level ? Not that you should need it, but common sense would dictate that you would be a target of a lot of things, blackmail and kidnapping among them.

    Not every nation has the kind of social problems that would spawn the need for that kind of security. In certain parts of Mexico and Latin America (possibly other parts of the world, too, but I’m more familiar with Latin America) I wouldn’t travel without the accompaniment of RoboCop, and I don’t make much money at all. In western Europe you’re generally a little better off.

  • avatar

    Of course she had security.

    Even in Germany, no upstanding leader or leaderesse of state or industry would leave home without burly people packing heat. But like in the cases of stateside politicians, people have a tendency to otherwise occupy their protective detail before hopping in bed with the other (or, gasp, same) gender.

    As was the case when she met her later husband, Klatten did at first not reveal her true indentity to the gigolo. She just had the scent of money on her. When Sgarbi found out who he had really fornicated, it was too late. The Italian newspaper Il Giornale has transcripts of phonetaps. Boss Baretta to an unnamed 3rd party: “Do you know who she is? The richest woman of Germany! She has enormous power, there are bodyguards when you get close to her. Adresses, phone numbers, photos – I burned everything. I made the biggest mistake in my life!”

    A revelation that came too late.

  • avatar
    jg3arrow

    Susanne Kant? Sounds like she could.


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