I debated posting this blog [via The Daily Breeze] in our E85 Boondoggle of the Day category. Who knows if BlueFire Ethanol's concentrated acid hydrolysis waste-to-ethanol technology will create commercially-viable E85 fuel near a garbage dump in Lancaster, CA? (Define "commercially viable.") The company certainly thinks so; BlueFire plans to build 20 cellulose-to-ethanol plants in the next eight years generating over $2b in revenues by 2013 with pre-tax income of over $1.2b. Good luck with that. (Really.) Ultimately, the fact that BlueFire sucked $40m bucks from the U.S. Department of Energy for a cellulosic waste processing plant in Corona tipped the balance. Debate that editorial choice if you must, remembering that I believe that anything ethanol-oriented that isn't corn-for-fuel is better than anything that is. Meanwhile, BlueFire's process uses flash fermentation, membrane distillation and chromatographic separation of the acid from the sugars. TTAC's Best and Brightest can read and analyze (please) BlueFire's boffinology here, as the company's website is non-functional. (Not the best of portents, but there you go.) TTAC is investigating taxpayer "contributions" to BlueFire's Lancaster site.

I'm not sure what's scarier: a lobbyist who's a Hunter S. Thompson fan, or a lobbyist who's a Hunter S. Thompson fan who thinks that bumping into Sean Penn at the Democratic National Convention and saying "Oh, you're Sean Penn" is a "gonzo" moment. In any case, Greg Martin, Director, Policy and Washington Communications uses the FastLane blog to make one thing perfectly clear: "This [federal loan program] program is not a bailout but an incentive for the auto industry and its suppliers. Its purpose is to get advanced technology vehicles on the road as quickly as possible in order to help the country meet its energy goals–and that’s exactly what we’re going to use it for." As I've stated in the last GM Death Watch, that's a distinction without a difference. Anyway, Greg had a "compelling product story to tell" the Denver pols, swanning around in eco-friendly cars that no one's buying, listening to BS about cars they can't buy. "People were surprised at the variety of advanced technology vehicles we offer, and there’s a lot more of that where that comes from…from 20 hybrid models in 2012 to the Chevy Volt to hydrogen fuel cells, I wonder if our engineers and technical types ever sleep." In the spirit of Hunter, may I suggest Black Beauties? Or point out that Greg's rhetoric sounds a lot like Richard Nixon's defense of his Vietnam war policy? "Under ideal circumstances, we know what our challenge is. Unfortunately, factors that are external to the auto industry compound that challenge (in other words, the current economic climate is really ugly out there). That’s why this existing program can really help us to keep moving full speed ahead." Fear and Loathing Greg? Just so. 

Gumball 3000 in SF Part 1

The Detroit News reports that democratic presidential hopeful Barack Obama has launched a TV campaign in Michigan "accusing" his republican competitor of not supporting federal bailout bucks for Motown's hometown heroes. Damn straight. Oh wait.. "The McCain campaign said the ad was misleading, pointing to the fact that McCain now supports a loan-guarantee proposal. McCain questioned the need for the guarantees during a Michigan campaign stop this month, but later announced he supports them." And if that's not craven enough (and it is for me), here's how The Detroit News described the "re-tooling" program: "The loan guarantees would make it easier for the cash-strapped domestic auto industry to borrow money as they go through the expensive process of transforming their factories to produce more fuel efficient cars." If it looks like a done deal, and sounds like a done deal… mark my words: it's a done deal.

Of all the failures that have led GM to the brink of bankruptcy, the automaker’s failure of imagination is the most profound. Never mind the plug-in electric – gas hybrid Chevy Volt. How about conjuring a vision of a company with two or three tightly-focused brands that each produce a handful of distinctive, class-leading and profitable vehicles, that markets them with relentless focus, and stands behind them with a national network of honest, efficient and courteous salesmen and mechanics? Whatever else Car Czar Bob Lutz can say about GM's product strategy, that ain't it. Which begs the question: what does The General want to do with U.S. taxpayer’s money?

Get this. Under GM's Employee Pricing for Everyone sale, a buyer can cash-in any GM Card towards a new purchase/lease. That is, unless you're are a GM employee/retiree. No really; they're excluded from the program. In fact, if GM discovers any such transaction later, the dealer is faces a "chargeback" for the card dollars and all other applicable incentives. An MI dealer tells us that "even if you deliver the car without a code and just use GMS pricing that anyone gets, you lose." Meanwhile, The Detroit News reports that GM is going after employees who transferred their employee discounts to non-employees. Before the Employee Pricing for Everyone sale, of course. "The automaker… simultaneously filed three lawsuits alleging fraud as the company cracks down on employees, retirees and widows giving discounts to nonrelatives, according to court documents. Along with other recent lawsuits, the automaker is suing for more than $450,000 plus costs and attorney fees." Or more. "It was unclear Friday how many cases have been filed nationwide and a GM spokesman did not know how often the automaker files such cases. GM's lawyer, Michael Clawson, could not be reached… The timing of the lawsuits, three of which were filed on or after Aug. 20, the day GM extended the employee discount to everyone, is coincidental, company spokesman Tom Wilkinson said." And really lousy, I might add. 

Popular Mechanics (PM) reveals that GM's tri-channel brand strategy hasn't eliminated the usual corporate infighting. Susan Docherty, GM's Veep of Buick, Pontiac and GMC, stakes her claim on company resources. "My personal take: I think [the Volt] would make a great Pontiac. What greater brand than Pontiac to charge ahead with that technology?" Is that a bad pun, a trick question or a trick question based on a bad pun? PM answers: Pontiac could torque-bias a electric – gas plug-in hybrid model to fit the brand's increasingly dubious performance remit (say goodbye to that headline 40-mile EV-only range). Meanwhile and in any case, PM warns that all this green goodness could exact a heavy toll on GM's dwindling, Volt-biased product development budget. "We've already heard that GM may offer a Cadillac version of the Volt. And since the Volt's "E-Flex" powertrain has been such an expensive project for the company, it will need to badge engineer the Chevy Volt as quickly as possible diversify those resources across at least three brands. In fact, GM has said the Volt is its single most important future project. So much so that we recently reported it could lead to less engineering resources for the next-gen Corvette (the one after the Corvette ZR1)." Your TTAC takeaway: even $50b of your hard-earned tax money can't fix stupid. 

"If you're sick of high gas prices, one remedy may be the V6 version of the 2010 Chevrolet Camaro." Oh for Pete's sake; AutoWeek [print] is pimping a Chevy that's half a year away from the showrooms. In that sense, Greg Migliore's "Camaro Cure" is re-volting. "Ultimately, the V6 is expected to make up 70 percent of the car's 100,000 sales," Greg unquestioningly reports. "And General Motors says that fuel efficiency– just as much as raw power– will be a key selling point. The V6 Camaro is expected to deliver 26mpg on the highway." It's one thing when a manufacturer quotes highway mileage in an attempt to draw attention away from gas-piggery. It's another when a car mag does so on its behalf, and makes that some kind of lame-ass "talking point." The rest of the article is pretty much as expected, save "…overall the car feels more nimble than Dodge Challengers we've driven." File that one under "invidious distinctions." 

First it was hot tubs. Then jockey shorts. Now the latest threat to male fertility is heated seats. According to research published in New Scientist magazine (and reported by eGMCarTech.com ), heated car seats can toast one's testicles to the point that sperm production shuts down. While the ideal temperature for the little swimmers is 96 degrees Fahrenheit, test subjects found their family jewels were steamed to a toasty 99 degrees (don't ask me where they stuck the thermometer). Don't worry too much, though. Researchers do say for any real damage to take place, you'd have to be sitting on a heated seat "for a long time on a regular basis." Of course, if you habitually shoot blanks you should just have the balls to admit it instead of trying to blame it on your car…