By on July 16, 2008

I must be tough 'cause they took my picture in the desert with all these rocks.There I was, minding my own business on the Internet, when HUMMER sauntered up and threw me against a locker. “Alpha stole your virtual girlfriend. And your real one,” grumbled the ever-subtle brand’s banner ad. Okay, HUMMER, I’ll bite (so to speak). Who’s Alpha, what’s he got that I haven’t? And— most importantly— how is this going to delay the inevitable fizzling of your fifteen minutes?

My questions were answered two weeks later at a ride-and-drive in Southern California. There I was, strolling through the SUV staging area, when Alpha struck again. “Gahh! The glare!” Shielding my eyes against a blinding sun-on-chrome conflagration, I winced to make out the telltale Alpha badge, applied to a suspiciously bling-encrusted H3. Hang on. A glammed-up H3? This is what’s got HUMMER’s ad men revving-up their bollock-swinging routine?

If I want her, I'll take your girlfriend AND your girlfriend's girlfriend. And squish you like the insignificant bug you are.Well, erm… yes. But what HUMMER’s particularly pumped about is Alpha’s 5.3-liter, 300hp V8, borrowed from GM’s full-sized pickups. Like an under-endowed divorcee's post-surgical-enhancement, this H3, freed of its flaccid five-cylinder powerplant, has something to prove. Thing is, most women I know are turned off by insecurity. Which makes me wonder what my virtual girlfriend saw in Alpha in the first place.

To be honest, I’m a little unclear on exactly what a virtual girlfriend is (anyone know?). This being a HUMMER, though, styling seems the most likely explanation for unfaithfulness. Females account for nearly half of all remaining H3 sales; there’s no denying the wee war wagon’s considerable road presence. The H3 shouts for attention with only slightly more decorum than Don Imus on PCP, but if the point is to cut a dash outside Designer Handbags Inc., then— in the words of the Prez— “mission accomplished.”

Who cares if you can't see what's around you?  I'm tough.  They're not.Unfortunately, like G-Bu’s premature announcement of Mesopotamian mastery, the H3 lacks substance in details. The hulking hood vent is a blanked-off fake. So are the A-pillar “snorkel” intakes. The chromed step bars protrude far enough to soil your pant leg, but not enough to assist entry. Want a roof rack for all the “active-lifestyle” gear you may or may not be toting? Hit the options list.

Never mind. Any virtual girlfriend worth virtually stealing knows what really counts is on the inside. So hoist yourself aboard and lose yourself in GM’s G.I. Joe fantasy land. A square, upright windshield frames the H3’s square, upright hood. Tiny windows rise to chin height, leaving thigh-width roof pillars to blot out the sun. A hatch-mounted spare obscures trailing plebes. Visibility? Hey, it’s not like everyone won’t see you. There’s also a big chrome “Alpha” badge on the steering wheel boss. You know, in case you forget how awesome you are.

When you're tough, you don't need to worry about things like quality of materials.But even here, towering above the commuters, the H3’s shallowness of character chips away at the escapism. You’ve seen these window switches and HVAC knobs before— in rental cars. On the positive side, the cabin’s squishy, grained plastics are indicative of GM’s recent efforts to increase quality, and would seem quite posh at some price points. But… ahem… you haven’t seen the price yet.

It’s $39,560. As in, near-as-dammit $40,000. Which means you could buy a Cadillac SRX V6 AWD instead, pocket $435, and rent a few Jeeps to get your off-road jollies. Or treat yourself to an all-wheel-drive Lexus RX 350 and put $760 in the adventure fund. Granted, brand devotees may happily pay a premium to own a part of the HUMMER mystique. But given the $8,565 leap over a base H3, even they might be miffed that the sticker doesn’t include a sunroof ($950), a rearview camera ($850), or DVD entertainment ($1,928).

This is what makes me so tough.  I have a full-grown truck\'s engine.There a few other essential features missing in the Alpha dog of the H3 range. One is interior space. While the HUMMER’s height and bulk lend it a certain psychological roominess, the tape measure reveals less legroom at the con than a Chevy Cobalt. Move around back, carefully negotiating the narrow door openings, and you’ll find economy-class knee room on a squashy, too-low rear bench. The cargo area is similarly compact, accessed through an awkwardly heavy side-hinged hatch.

“But wait,” fans protest. “You haven’t even mentioned the Alpha’s trump card.” Ah, yes: the all-beef V8. The Vortec’s a smooth talker, that’s for sure. Its deep burble fits the H3’s character far better than the bronchitic braying of the base five. And 0 – 60 improves to minivan-grade: 8.9 seconds. Otherwise, the Alpha’s dynamics are a rerun. Same hefty but numb steering, same rubbery ride, same squidgy path control you’ll find in any heavy vehicle with very tall sidewalls.

You know I\'m tough because I wear my spare tire out back for everyone to see.  Just like a Geo Tracker.The truth is, girlfriends— virtual or otherwise— tend to trade in characters like Alpha pretty fast. His clothes are too loud. He drinks too much. And he doesn’t give her enough space. Sorry, Alpha. I strongly suspect that, when the five-year reunion rolls around in 2011, you and your big brothers won’t be joining us.

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73 Comments on “2008 HUMMER H3 Alpha Review...”


  • avatar
    craiggbear

    HUMMER mystique? The only mystique is whether these make a better boat anchor than a Yukon.

  • avatar
    GS650G

    I’m mystified as to why GM builds this vehicle.

  • avatar
    SupaMan

    I strongly suspect that, when the five-year reunion rolls around in 2011, you and your big brothers won’t be joining us.

    …unless of course, GM (or Hummer’s potential new owners) find a way to make them more fuel efficient. Diesels anyone?

    Great review as always. The H3 needed a V8, yesterday but it’s too little too late. I noticed that no MPG figures were stated but hey, everyone KNOWS this things fuel efficiency (!?) is horrible, even with the base five pot engine.

    The day my virtual g/f starts liking this beast, is the day I throw her stuff out.

  • avatar
    jerry weber

    gs650g: You want to know why the Hummer exists. For 60 years jeep has made lot’s of money trading on tough trail rated four wheel drives. Hummer, for a short time actually eclipsed the jeep image and began to tilt the profits towards the General. Had the $2.00 gas continued, much money was to be made on these above described image pieces. It must be bitter irony that GM entered this game in the 9th inning, and it is now 2 away with the home team at bat. Neither Jeep or Hummer will continue to make the money that was there in the very recent past. You want to know the biggest individual losers? How about the Hummer dealers who agreed to spend over 2 Million dollars a copy for a tough quonset hut showroom to showcase the image pieces. Where I come from nested next to the Hummers are the Cadillacs in the hut. GM had to relent and let dealers who had other GM franchises use the building for something. If a dealer was Hummer only, hope he was using the money from his wife’s trust fund, not bank financing.

  • avatar
    craiggbear

    GS650G Says:

    I’m mystified as to why GM builds this vehicle.

    It’s all because of Arnold, of course. No other reason.

  • avatar

    Nice comment, Jerry. I personally fault GM most for having these dealers spend millions to build those dealerships, only to pull the rug out from under them.

    I drove the Alpha a year or so ago. The V8 certainly helps. But it would help even more if the transmission had six ratios rather than four. Even the five comes with a five-speed automatic.

    The interior is quite cushy if you’re comparing the H3 to a Wrangler.

    Reliability of the five-cylinder 2006s used to be worse than average, but as they age they’re drawing close to the average.

    No results for the 2007 or 2008; need more participants for those years.

    http://www.truedelta.com/reliability.php

  • avatar
    Steve_K

    H3 Alpha V8 is good news to me, since the V8 is supposed to show up in the Chevy Colorado, on which the H3 underpinnings are based. Of course, two years have passed since I’ve been anticipating a V8 Colorado. Things are looking much more G8-ish these days.

    A friend of mine got an H3 for his wife, as the stereotype goes. We went offroad one (1) time and the I5 engine let us down. The H3 has far more traction than power with that little mill!

  • avatar
    golden2husky

    Well, at the engine is good piece. I loathe HUMMERS but to each his own. This brand is going blow apart like the roof of Nakatomi, except it isn’t Hans who is going to be responsible.

  • avatar
    sean362880

    I was driving though northnern IN the other day, and I saw a Hummer dealership advertising 50% off new, unsold ’07s.

    Now that’s desperation!

  • avatar
    Samir

    Sorry…uh… no. This is a pure MILF mobile.

  • avatar
    TexasAg03

    I was driving though northnern IN the other day, and I saw a Hummer dealership advertising 50% off new, unsold ’07s.

    If I see that in Texas, I’ll buy one in a heartbeat.

    I happen to like the Hummers, especially the H3. I think it’s unfortunate that so many people buy them and will never get them dirty, but that’s not a knock on the vehicle. If that were the way to judge automobiles, then the Corvette is just as bad. I rarely see Corvettes being used to their potential.

  • avatar
    shaker

    There’s a (non-alpha) H3 parked in one of my company’s “visitors” spots.
    A lotta bling on that vehicle, but the thing I loved is that the huge fuel-filler cover looks a lot like a chromed bank vault door — no coincidence that the contents are becoming very precious.

  • avatar
    Lumbergh21

    The hulking hood vent is a blanked-off fake. So are the A-pillar “snorkel” intakes.

    I’m sorry, but why would anybody in their right mind want fake snorkel intakes on the A-pillars? Oh, wait, I think I just answered my own question.

  • avatar
    fli317

    Certain people have this attitude towards hummer. Its more of an image truck, not that real of an off roader. But hey, what production vehicle is. If people want to pay 40 large for this image, let them knock themselves out. I would not pay 40 large for many vehicles including the Caddy suv or of all things the Lexus suv. Truth is, its no different from any other full size SUV (ie.durango, tahoe, suburban, sequioa). Everyone just hates Hummer. I guess perception is reality. Personally, for what it is, I would go for a suburban for the unrivaled passenger comfort, towing ability, fuel economy, safety and reliability. But, cut these people some slack. Some people care a lot more about image than passenger space. What’s wrong with that? Its their money. Why would you buy a Caddy SUV or a Lexus SUV when you can have a suburban? I don’t care very much about some obscure knob being squishy or whatever. And, I don’t care too much if the vehicle has a back up camera or a nav system. I certainly would not pay for it. Its just what you want, and you would be untruthful if thought image played no role.

  • avatar
    thetopdog

    I have never understood the point of the H3. The entire point of the Hummer brand is for the owner to be able to say 2 things:

    1) My car is bigger than yours
    2) I have more money than you

    Introducing a car that is cheaper and smaller goes against everything the brand stood for. I actually think that the H3 has more to do with the demise of the Hummer brand than the price of gas. Who in their right mind would buy an H2 to show off when everybody and their mother can afford an H3?

  • avatar
    improvement_needed

    TexasAg03 Says: I happen to like the Hummers, especially the H3. I think it’s unfortunate that so many people buy them and will never get them dirty, but that’s not a knock on the vehicle. If that were the way to judge automobiles, then the Corvette is just as bad. I rarely see Corvettes being used to their potential.

    good comment…

    same could be said about lots of other things – ie: 99.9% of all sports sedans on the road…

  • avatar
    Ingvar

    “The hulking hood vent is a blanked-off fake. So are the A-pillar “snorkel” intakes.”

    I don’t know if to laugh or to cry. Fake snorkels? I mean… Come on? Is this for real, or do they actually make this shit up? Oh my fucking god… I don’t know where to start. Fake snorkels? I have to say it again: Fake snorkels!

  • avatar

    Call me crazy or say whatever you want but were I in the market for an SUV or still lived in the Midwest where we routinely got buried under a foot of snow I would be happy to own one of these. In fact I had a lifted Jeep that I enjoyed driving every winter (and basically sat each summer) in the snow or hazardous weather conditions.

    I’ve always liked HUMMER styling and heritage just as I love unique Jeep styling and heritage. I think these brands offer a bit more authentic a 4×4 experience and image than your run of the mill Chevy, Ford, Honda, Toyota (except maybe the FJ Cruiser) truck. For me styling and real capability count for quite a bit in this type of vehicle and the H3 has it in spades. In fact it was recently FOUR WHEELER’s four-wheeler of the year after they pounded the crap out of one.

    GM’s bungling of HUMMER and turning tail is really quite sad as the brand is probably the strongest and most unique they have. Perhaps if GM wasn’t stuffing all the rest of their brands with numerous trucks, crossovers and SUVs there wouldn’t be concerns about HUMMER’s future.

    It’s a big missed opportunity but maybe someone will buy the brand who can return it to the glory it deserves and grow it in other markets as well as continue to serve the marke there.

    Or maybe not.

  • avatar
    NickR

    Someone please shoot this lame donkey please. Lame as in fake intakes, fake snorkles, and BLING!

    I’m a little unclear on exactly what a virtual girlfriend is (anyone know?).

    In my case, Jessica Canizales…

  • avatar
    rpenna

    The Alpha has the honor of being the tallest vehicle I’ve ever sat in and still felt like I was sitting on the floor. In the backseat I was practically in a fetal position.

    The thing was $43,000. How anyone could spend 43 grand on something with less interior space than an Impreza is a testament to how successfully the brand has marketed itself….to moms.

  • avatar
    Kman

    The Hummer line’s styling is saying a perpetual “F you” at the world around it.

    That’s partly what it’s hated.

    (The other part is that it sucks as a vehicle)

  • avatar
    davey49

    I’d like to buy an H3 but I won’t likely be able to afford one till 2013 or so. I wouldn’t be my only vehicle. Love the styling and it is good off road.

  • avatar
    TR3GUY

    The review and the comments are so good on this it is hard to know whee to start.

    Need vs. Want: In that area, I’ll say to each is own unless you put me in danger. There was a great Simpsons where Marge gets a really big SUV and becomes a really agressive driver.

    Alpha Male: If the Hummer was confortable, had easy cargo loading etc etc I guess I could see it. If you “need” a Suburban buy one. This is just IMHO silly. I expect Mr. T to get out of it. Aren’t you a little old to be playing soilder? I was with a woman from the office and a H1 passed us, her comment “I bet he has a really small” — well you know the stereotype.

    USING THE CARS POTENTIAL: Driving a 06 Miata (Chick car so I’ll never fall into the above catagory right) I some times wish it had more power for the rare day when I want to zoom pst all the other cars. But when I floor it do I have enough power to merge, pass etc? Yes so more than that is, in a way, ego. Nothing wrong with that mind you. If they made a turbo version tomorrow I’d trade it in for one knowing I don’t need it.

    IF YOU DON’T NEED A TRUCK: The more beautiful, understated and sleek the better – IMHO

  • avatar
    Jim K

    There’s a sucker born every minute. What a POS.

  • avatar
    miked

    @Steve_K: …We went offroad one (1) time and the I5 engine let us down. The H3 has far more traction than power with that little mill!

    Steve, That’s not the H3′s fault, that’s the driver’s fault. My 100HP 4cyl ’89 Toyota on 33″ tires never gets stuck because of the engine, just lack of driver skill. Off-roading doesn’t require big engines, just a good driver who knows where to put the truck.

  • avatar
    rochskier

    I’m sorry, but this thing does 0-60 in 8.9 seconds AFTER the 300 hp V8 is installed?

    That’s horrific!

    Then again that won’t matter to the MILFs and kept women likely to be found behind the wheel of this boulevardier with their fake tans, big hair, and permanently attached cell-phones.

  • avatar
    JuniorMint

    Wow! This is AMAZING! They’ve finally done it! Interior space, price, fuel economy, acceleration, off-road performance… There are better performers than this vehicle in absolutely everything you could ever want to do with a car! AND any combination thereof! It’s a total shutout!

    Well…unless we’re considering ‘hacking off your fellow driver,’ of course.

  • avatar
    Areitu

    I thought the H3 5-banger’s claim to fame was it’s fuel economy.

    Like everything else GM seems to be doing, to little too late.

  • avatar
    NickR

    I’d like to buy an H3 but I won’t likely be able to afford one till 2013 or so.

    Oh yeah? If things keep going the way they are, in a few years this will be worth sweet f a. Gas swilling vehicles that happen to be complete and utter dogs depreciate furiously.

  • avatar
    TexasAg03

    I have never understood the point of the H3. The entire point of the Hummer brand is for the owner to be able to say 2 things:

    1) My car is bigger than yours
    2) I have more money than you

    That’s true for some, if not most, owners. However, I know people who do take their Hummers off road. These are capable vehicles, especially the H3.

    Outside of the Toyota Corolla or Honda Civic (or Fit), anything else is overkill for almost everyone. Just because people don’t use the full capabilities of a vehicle doesn’t make it bad.

    What percentage of time should a Hummer be used off road to be an appropriate choice?

    What percentage of time should a Corvette be used on a track to be an appropriate choice?

    What percentage of time should an Odyssey be fully occupied to be an appropriate choice?

  • avatar
    Gleetroit

    While some of the H3′s shortcomings are true (ie fuel economy and interior space), the fact is that as a midsize 4-door SUV it has NO EQUAL in off-road performance stock from the factory. Not even the venerable Rubicon 4-door can be had with 33in tires and a V8 out the door. Plus, Rubicon’s got another 4 inches of wheelbase over the H3 making for a worse stock breakover angle. I’m a Jeep fan, but the H3 (with the adventure package) also has much better water fording capability than even lifted Wranglers. I once watched 3 H3′s drop into a 4 foot deep trench with water coming over the cowl drive out the other side unscathed while a lifted Wrangler hydrolocked. For a fair and balanced opinion, we should take all the facts into account, and usually when it comes to Hummer, the discussion quickly devolves into a lopsided bashfest. Could it do without the bling? YOU BET! Should it be more fuel efficient by a few MPGS? ABSOLUTELY! Should the transmission have two more cogs? NO QUESTION! But did they do some things right when it comes to actual off-road credentials? With stock front and rear lockers, 33′s and pretty robust underpinnings, I’d have to say yes.

    BTW, the H3 underpinnings are modified such that they are about 85% different from a Colorado. It is essentially it’s own architecture.

  • avatar
    hwyhobo

    From another article: “This is not the time for niche vehicles,” Maximum Bob told the world yesterday. Well, at least he is on track. Right.

  • avatar
    TexasAg03

    With stock front and rear lockers…

    According to the Hummer site, the H3 does not offer a front locker in either the 5 cylinder or the Alpha version. The H3T does, but not the H3.

  • avatar
    SacredPimento

    Gleetroit: While some of the H3’s shortcomings are true (ie fuel economy and interior space), the fact is that as a midsize 4-door SUV it has NO EQUAL in off-road performance stock from the factory.

    What? not even a Toyota FJ cruiser? (nevermind, it’s not a 4-door)

    I don’t doubt its off-road prowess, but I don’t think that it’s unparalleled, especially since it has an independent front suspension.
    Jeep Unlimited Rubicon has a solid front axle and sway bar disconnect which make for better axle articulation. I don’t know about the water fording, but I did see a H3 hydrolock last weekend where a slightly-lifted 2nd gen 4runner just went right through the same spot. So, I guess there’s a lot to be said about who’s driving rather than what kind of vehicle they’re driving.

    BTW, wasn’t there a turbo option (or at least a kit) for the 1st gen H3′s 5-banger?

  • avatar
    SunnyvaleCA

    Given that the 5-cylinder in base trim benches EPA figures of 13/18, you might as well go for the V8 with 13/16.

    Shouldn’t the “alpha” version at least have an optional stick-shift transmission?

  • avatar

    I can’t figure out why this review is three stars. it reads like two at most.

  • avatar
    BobJava

    So when will they release the Beta version? I hope the Final fixes the glitches of this pre-release.

  • avatar
    Gleetroit

    TexasAg03: According to the Hummer site, the H3 does not offer a front locker in either the 5 cylinder or the Alpha version. The H3T does, but not the H3.

    Trust me. It does.

  • avatar
    rudiger

    sean362880 Says: “I was driving though northnern IN the other day, and I saw a Hummer dealership advertising 50% off new, unsold ’07s.”And I’d be willing to bet they’d be damn happy (and lucky) to get it, too.

    Hummers remind me of a poor-man’s (or maybe not so poor) Lamborghini LM002 ‘Rambo’, that old, ungodly expensive, squared-off, V12-powered, SUV-like ‘tank’ built from 1986 to 1993 that was really only suited for wealthy oil sheaks that needed something to race around in the desert, primarily because you needed to have your own private oil supply to keep the things in fuel (fuel mileage of the LM002 was easily in the single digits).

    Fuel mileage in H3 Hummers isn’t quite that bad but in this era of $4/gal gas, fuel mileage in the the low teens is still a model killer in anyone’s book, even for those with LM002 dreams.

  • avatar

    great write up . . . though a little scant on some of the particulars potential buyers might be interested in, it definitely reveals the truth about those potential buyer’s shortcomings.

    i was originally happy for HUMMER that they were going to build a “smaller” vehicle when i first heard of the H3 years ago. then, i was irritated that they stuck a crappy engine in a HUMMER. when i heard about the new V8, i was glad they were rectifying their main fault. now, seeing the bling-tastic alpha, i can only scoff at the ridiculous customers of the new H3.

    on a side-note however, this is probably a good marketing move. they’ll sell more alphas to a designer urban crowd wanting to be seen by doing this than they would have sold to the hardcore adventure crew had they really made it an ultimate jeep.

  • avatar
    Johnster

    shortthrowsixspeed : though a little scant on some of the particulars potential buyers might be interested in, it definitely reveals the truth about those potential buyer’s shortcomings.

    P.J. McCombs : Females account for nearly half of all remaining H3 sales.

    And Freud said that some women suffered from what kind of envy?

  • avatar
    fli317

    Man, its amazing how this is such a hated vehicle. Makes me want to get one to piss everyone off. It rivals the minivan in how it really upsets people. I’d get the H2 though, because its bigger.

    • 0 avatar
      AnUnidentifiedMale

      I’m so with you! All I can guess is that a lot of these people feel threatened by Hummers. They say that Hummer drivers are trying to make up for some insecurities, but it’s the Hummer-haters who truly sound insecure.

  • avatar
    Landcrusher

    I understand fake leather and fake wood. Those are desirable things that cost extra. The fakes function the same as the originals.

    I have never understood fake hood bulges, and really don’t get fake holes in a car. Either phony intakes, or snorkels.

    Seriously, if you had any chance of holding on to any brand value, it was lost with the fake snorkels.

    Don’t fake something that is aesthetically undesirable. They are surely clueless.

  • avatar
    rudiger

    fli317 Says: “Man, its amazing how this is such a hated vehicle. Makes me want to get one to piss everyone off. It rivals the minivan in how it really upsets people. I’d get the H2 though, because its bigger.”I thought about doing the same thing. The Hummer is such a polarizing vehicle because the marketing so clearly defines the target demographic as, well, general A-holes. People who drive around in Hummers are making a statement that not only are they indifferent to the environment, but to everyone else around them, as well, and actually seem to be proud of their status as being despised by the rest of the motorists on the highway.

    It’s not too far from the opinion many people have of BMW drivers, the main difference being that BMWs are quite capable of performance above that of most other vehicles. Hummers just kind of get in the way.

  • avatar
    davey49

    I plan on running over puppies and kittens in my Hummer. :)

  • avatar
    M20E30

    Does anybody else find these types of vehicles extremely uninteresting?

  • avatar
    Landcrusher

    If you mean pimped up SUV’s, then yes, I find them uninteresting. The point of an SUV was supposed to be it’s “utility”. Even if you bought one for image, you would still want the utility wouldn’t you? Otherwise, the image was ruined.

    I’m generally not a big fan of fake anything.

  • avatar
    Lumbergh21

    I once watched 3 H3’s drop into a 4 foot deep trench with water coming over the cowl drive out the other side unscathed while a lifted Wrangler hydrolocked.

    How is that possible with FAKE snorkels? Or, was it a 4 foot deep trench with one foot of water and the water was splashed over the cowl?

    I don’t care if somebody wants to buy any Hummer variant, and I don’t think it is accurate to suggest Hummer owners are less endowed than Prius owners. However, I defy any of the people defending the Hummer to justify fake snorkels. I mean, that is just plain stupid.

  • avatar
    hondagirl

    It doesn’t bother me when someone owns a Hummer. But it just so happens that they’re really lousy vehicles, and their drivers tend to drive and park like assholes. Plus, they’re godawful ugly.

  • avatar
    jerry weber

    Where do all of these motor heads go with their oversized 4WD? I live in a rural area in upstate Pa. You can’t drive even atv’s on State game land. Farmers aren’t going to let you tear up their fields. Dirt roads are improved enough that any two wheel drive vehicle can negotiate them. The local fair has an annual mud bod, where a bunch of large raised pickups come and dual it out. Is this the venue for the large SUV? My wife’s family has a 300 acre farm and my not that small Nissan Xterra can easily drive the unplowed fields, but the woods, not a chance. I am too wide for old logging roads that are now half grown shut. Even the side by side ATV’s won’t fit, you need a quad to get through. So why do I need a bigger SUV? Mayve my next one would be smaller an H5 perhaps?

  • avatar
    BEAT

    When I’m inside a Hummer I feel like in a tank with luxurious interior.

    If there is a major snow in New England I would definetly drive a Hummer 3 and after using it.

    Moth ball it and to be only be used in calamity issues.

    Imagine this;

    A real Armaggeddon taking place here on Earth, like sudden change of global climate like flash flood or tsunamis. The only way out is with your Hummer 3. Evacuate the entire family on a Hummer to safer grounds and survive another nature’s wrath.

    Sound like a tv commercial to me?

  • avatar
    TexasAg03

    TexasAg03: According to the Hummer site, the H3 does not offer a front locker in either the 5 cylinder or the Alpha version. The H3T does, but not the H3.

    Trust me. It does.

    The 2008 Hummer H3 Alpha does not have a front locker available. It does have electronic traction control on the front end, but no locker.

    According to a quick Google search, a front locker will be available on the 2009 model – I don’t know if it will be “Alpha-only” or if it will be available on all H3s.

  • avatar
    Landcrusher

    jerry,

    There may be a problem finding places for proper 4 wheeling where you live, but most places where I have lived it wasn’t hard at all. The western USA offers places with trails for either serious off roading or even places where clearance and traction are very desirable. Size isn’t always a detriment.

    However, watch out for the trap of assuming people don’t need something because it’s outside your experience. The entire trip down “why do people need that” road is actually quite idiotic. I would be happy to follow around most minimalists for a day to point out all the crap they don’t “need.”

    Many, if not most SUV’s are bought because people want them, not need them. There is nothing wrong with that, and people who think there is are bound to be hypocrites. What we call a minimalist is someone who has “less” luxuries than most people, not none. Every item has a carbon foot print, and who gets to decide how much of a carbon foot print you are allowed to have? Al Gore?

  • avatar
    BEAT

    Hondagirl:

    You and your hyper text mark up language link is very interesting. I wish I know HTML.

    I don’t see a lot of Hummer in New England. I see alot of Jeeps from Wranglers to Cherokees.

    When I saw the H3 Ad, I thought it would be like the size of a RAV-4 or Honda Element but I was wrong it was still huge.

    If they built a 4 cyclinder with 4,000 rpm. 300 Hp, 2.5 liter engine on 5 speed and the size of a Honda Element. I might buy a Hummer or people might buy it.

  • avatar
    jybt

    Okay. Good improvement with the 5.3. But get the 3.6 DI in fast! And you still haven’t fixed the other things: the practicality and visibility, that make this beast a bit behind class.

  • avatar
    cheezeweggie

    With gas prices I’m sure they’ll sell a couple of those this year. No hope for GM.

  • avatar
    jerseydevil

    great review, thanks. these cars block my view like most trucks. i try to avoid being around them.

  • avatar
    thetopdog

    Landcrusher:

    The problem with your argument is that most people who buy SUVs like this would actually enjoy their vehicle more if they bought something else. A guy in a Vette or Porsche needs the performance as little as a Hummer driver needs the off-road ability, but the guy in the sports car is probably having a lot more fun driving than the person in the H3.

    So not only do SUVs like this not make sense (for most people) from a need standpoint, they also don’t make sense if you think about what most of their owners actually want out of a car (image excepted)

  • avatar
    Landcrusher

    “great review, thanks. these cars block my view like most trucks. i try to avoid being around them.”

    So you have learned not to tailgate or drive in the blindspot of trucks. Excellent. May I suggest that you apply that behavior to other cars as well? The life you save could be your own, and the reduced tension is more than enough reward.

  • avatar
    Landcrusher

    topdog,

    Your argument depends on you knowing more what people will like than they do. The only successful mechanism for measuring desire is the market. The market said people loved SUV’s, and now, not so much. I am pretty sure it will settle at a lower level than before, but not at the current crunch.

    Image is a perfectly acceptable desire. You cannot divorce it from car buying so long as there is more than one choice.

    Need is a very suspect determiner. There were tens of thousands of people living in Houston before air conditioners were in every home. My home had to have it added after it was built in 1940. Do we really “need” air conditioning? Wouldn’t we be better off without using it, and reducing our carbon footprint?

    How about we agree, no one “needs” fake snorkels. I am pretty sure almost everyone will agree with that. Does that mean that GM should not sell them?

    I predict the market will reject them like a virus, but I won’t make fun of everyone who buys an Alpha because of them. Frivolous or necessity, it’s their money, and their choice. If you say the trailblazer is a better choice, and make a good argument, then that can be constructive. However, at this point, no one wants to hear how “most” people would be “better off” with a (insert non suv here). It’s been done, and the attitude just drips off the page like mucus.

  • avatar
    nudave

    Suddenly, owning this vehicle has all the cachet of clubbing baby seals to death.

  • avatar
    Gleetroit

    TexasAg03: The 2008 Hummer H3 Alpha does not have a front locker available. It does have electronic traction control on the front end, but no locker.

    According to a quick Google search, a front locker will be available on the 2009 model – I don’t know if it will be “Alpha-only” or if it will be available on all H3s.

    That’s what we were talking about, I assumed, because you mentioned H3T and it’s a 2009 model. Besides, the plant has already shifted to ’09 production. BTW, the locker option is available through the adventure package.

  • avatar
    Dave M.

    Makes me want to get one to piss everyone off. It rivals the minivan in how it really upsets people. I’d get the H2 though, because its bigger.

    Well, that’s mature.

  • avatar
    TexasAg03

    That’s what we were talking about, I assumed, because you mentioned H3T and it’s a 2009 model.

    I did mention the H3T and I should have clarified that I was comparing it with the current H3, but the title of the article is 2008 HUMMER H3 Alpha Review. That’s why I was saying it didn’t have a front locker, because it doesn’t.

    Anyway, I’m glad they are going to offer that now.

  • avatar
    kntemplars

    Something is messed up when the Q7 and the H3 receive the same “3″ star rating…

    Of all the examples/arguments of American craftmanship this is quite possibly the best worst example, and proves how far we will go to show our immiturity and need to feel important.

    Wow, that thing is hideous!

  • avatar
    AlisoH3

    Did you ever actually take the H3 off road during your tests?

    It sounds to me like TTAC’s correspondent as always focused on writing a review which will entertain the readers, moreso than writing an honest review of the vehicle for what it is: An incredibly capable off-road machine.

    TTAC is good entertainment, not to be taken seriously as a car review source.

  • avatar
    P.J. McCombs

    I have driven the H3 off-road at two other GM ride-and-drives and was mightily impressed by its dirt-climbing abilities.

    I am similarly impressed by Takeru “Tsunami” Kobayashi’s ability to inhale 56 hot dogs in 10 minutes, which he demonstrated at the Nathan’s International July Fourth Hot Dog Eating Contest in 2006.

    How relevant is either skill to the real world? I can’t speak for Mr. Kobayashi, but as regards the priorities of GM’s truck shoppers, the H3′s sales numbers speak for themselves.

  • avatar
    AlisoH3

    Thanks for acknowledging that the H3 has real off-road capabilities. These capabilities _are_ relevant in the real world for those of us who like to take our trucks on trails or go camping for a weekend in a remote part of the desert.

    You are also correct that eating 53 hotdogs in 10 minutes really doesn’t contribute much to.. well, anything (except Nathan’s PR machine and that’s cool) but the fact that you compare the H3 to a hot dog eating contest once again just shows that the purpose of TTAC and your “review” is not to be a serious source of car reviews but rather to entertain, to be funny, to showcase yourself as leading the pack of “Hummer Haters” and in doing so, to draw readers to your web site so you can make money off advertising.

  • avatar
    kntemplars

    Hold, even Henry David Thoreau would have a hard time impressing an audiance. So don’t get you knickers in a wad over this. For me the article was meant to seem as rediculous as the vehicle.

  • avatar
    leeezard7

    I have driven the h3 adventure package at a ride and drive at the SEMA auto show in las vegas. it was an extensive off road coarse. 30ft tall steep climp @30% grade DIRT hill, then descind the other side of the hill. the adventure package hill braking system worked flawlessly. we did several steep off camber hills/sideways, to the point the passenger could reach out their window and touch the ground. we forded 24″ deep water and no issues. we “tired up” against a 20″ tall concrete block and scaled it with ease. SO… do you really need an h3 in daily driving in a city on public streets? Probably not. is it fun to drive and peace of mind if you need the off road capabilities? YES, very much so. After the ride and drive, i went and bought my wife a h3 alpha adventure luxury package with the v8, the 4:1 transfer case, front and rear lockers, hill descent braking, 33″ tires, nav, sunroof, back up camera, blah blah blah… we love it. we go serious off roading all the time, we live in a rural area as well on unpaved roads. i got her an h3 because i have an h1. for all the naysayers, drive your honda, toyota, kia, whatever it may be and i wont make fun of you… and what you drive… if you give me the same courtesy. otherwise i might just stick it in 4low with lockers on and just show you what my wifes h3 can do right over your honda, toyota, or kia or whatever…. LOL.


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