And this, folks, is just the beginning. Or the end. Or the beginning of the end. Whatever you call it, however you look at it, GM's $3.25b first quarter financial loss makes a mockery of CEO Rick Wagoner's $14.4m annual compensation, and eliminates any hope that GM's foreign markets can keep the corporate mothership afloat. As Bloomberg reports, the number would have been even more horrific if not for GM's international growth. "GM's European profit grew by more than 18 times to $75 million. The Asia-Pacific region and Latin America-Africa-Middle East region doubled earnings to $286 million and $517 million, respectively." Meanwhile, "GM had an $812 million pretax loss in North America, its largest region, wider than the $208 million deficit a year earlier." And if you think things will be better stateside in the second, third or fourth quarter, what with strikes and tanked SUV and pickup sales, you need to be working at GM. Otherwise, no one will believe you. [Read General Motors Death Watch 175: Phone Calls from the Dead for a full analysis.]

Normally, driving a car with a stonking V8 engine powering the front wheels is like watching Michael Moore and Rush Limbaugh make out. It's so wrong on so many levels. Can you squeal like a pig? Just so. Will that pig's snout dart about like an amphetamine-crazed truffle-sniffer? Uh-huh. But here's the kicker: what if it doesn't? And what it you, uh, like it? Does that make you a deviant pistonhead? No, it makes you a closet fan of the quietly nutty, deeply cool Buick LaCrosse Super.

Critics have long maintained that "safety cameras" (a.k.a. no-armed bandits) cause crashes. Unsuspecting drivers stumble upon a camera, hit the brakes hard and BAM! Rear-end collision. This is especially likely for motorists who suddenly catch sight of camera vans (a.k.a. "Talivans"). Well duh. The whole point of these infernal machines is to catch motorists "off guard." Otherwise, well, they wouldn't make any money catch any speeders, would they? But scientific studies and common sense will only take you so far, hearts and minds-wise. What could really turn the tide is a video of a Talivan-caused crash. And the BBC had just such a video. Only they pulled it. Which has pissed off the Association of British Drivers no end. "The video was first shown on BBC News 24 on Monday 21st April when it was bizarrely used to illustrate a misleading story claiming that 'speeding' is by far the biggest cause of accidents. The video later appeared on the BBC News website at this address: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/7358372.stm, but by the next day it had mysteriously disappeared." ABD member Keith Jones said Auntie Beeb told him that the video is missing from their website "because of a technical problem." They don't know when it will be fixed and "do not provide feedback on progress." So much for tax-payer funding guaranteeing the BBC's editorial independence, transparency or accountability. Not that it ever did, mind. 

For Audi fans, Tresser was THE modifier in the 1980's and 1990's. The firm created a very quick (and sought after) Audi 5000 Turbo (Audi 200 in Europe), a Quattro convertible (capital Q), and many others. I happened to stumble upon one of Tresser's last creations, a slightly used Audi 200 Turbo quattro. While the engine, interior, and body panels were rotted, the carbon fiber hood and trunk-lid were not. Mr. Mehta and Mr. Lieberman, you can no longer call my Audi V8 quattro "fat", like me, we are both turning into lean, mean muscled machines that will obliterate all Lincolns/Volvos in our path. Quattro uber alles!

It's been a frenetic couple of few news days, and most of it's been bad. Especially for GM. Thirty-two GM plants are off-line, high-profit truck and SUV U.S. sales are in the tank, production's been cut, GMAC is in the the crapper and… CEO Rick Wagoner got a 64 percent pay raise! Having GM DW'ed this saga since April 2005, I'm just about ready to pronounce the company R.I.P. (New Death Watch on its way). Let's assume for a moment that I'm right: GM files for C11. It seems perfectly obvious to me that if either Democratic presidential candidate makes it to the White House, a bailout– perhaps in the Chrysler-esque form of federal loan guarantees– is a dead cert. McCain, on the other hand, went to Iowa, stood in front of the corn farmers and told them he would NOT continue federal subsidies. To use the venacular, that is some serious shit. I'm not so sure John would cut the check for GM. But should he? One way or another, GM employs millions of people. What kind of deal should the U.S. gov'mint cut with GM? Or… not?

While GM say it turns to face the strange ch-ch-changes, it seems old pork barrel habits die hard (with a vengeance). The Detroit News reports that US Rep Joel Knollenberg (R-MI) has proposed $1.2b in federal spending and $3.2b in tax rebates to help American automakers achieve recently-increased CAFE standards. The bill sports a nausea-inducing acronym: "Bridging Industry and Government Through Hi-Tech Research on Energy Efficiency Act." Yup, that's the BIG THREE Act. The easiest of the bill's provisions to stomach: $750m over five years for "advanced battery research and development" The hardest? The $50m to pay for 200 hydrogen fueling stations, and the $150m to buy fool-cell vehicles for government use. The big-ticket spending comes in the form of a 20 percent refundable tax credit for research and development costs connected to meeting fuel efficiency standards. Figure that at $3.2b. The Detroit automakers are lining-up to fawn over Rep Knollenbergs fiscal irresponsibility bold leadership. Which was probably the point of the exercise anyway. Knollenberg is locked in a tight race for re-election (with suicide Doc Jack Kevorkian amongst others). To differentiate himself from his opponents, he's been emphasizing his support for the auto industry. Sounds like several billion well spent.

Consumeraffairs.com reports NHTSA is investigating complaints of rust producing "fist-sized holes" in the subframe on Hyundai Sonatas, resulting in suspension failure. So far the problem has occurred in 1999 – 2002 model year Sonatas. The rust weakens the subframe to the point where it causes "wheel collapse or separation, half shaft detachment resulting in sudden vehicle disablement and or steering anomalies" according to the NHTSA web site. Most of the reports are from states where salt is used to control ice in the winter. Several accidents have been reported, and one car was rusted so badly the insurance company totaled it. If you have a Sonata, you may want to check under it to see if yours is affected. The car comes with a seven-year, unlimited mileage warranty against rust through; depending on how old yours is, you may need to move fast. Or slowly. Or both.

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. Just kidding, it's the worst of times. I can't even turn on the TV for fear of seeing anything having to do with the election. And gas prices have and are going up and up; I've paid $4.10 a gallon for the past two weeks. But presumptive Republican nominee John McCain (presuming he lives long enough) has a solution. Suspend the Federal gas tax for the summer. That's 18.4 cents per gallon to you and me. Not so fast says Barry Hussein Obama. That's a smoke and mirrors election year tactic that will, "save consumers little and do nothing to curtail oil consumption and imports." In comes Hillrod off the top turnbuckle. Mrs. Clinton says that Mr. Obama is "out of touch with ordinary Americans who are struggling to meet their mortgages and gas up their cars and trucks." Anyone else LOVE when multi-millionaires accuse other multi-millionaires of being out of touch? OK, so you might be expecting a spot of analysis. All I can tel you is this: my girlfriend is driving around in my WRX this week because her car is a death trap and I have some $100,000+  fun toy press car that you'll hear about later. Anyhow, she was bemoaning the fact my car requires premium fuel. I explained to her that the 20 cent premium over regular works out to less than $2 a tank. And the Federal gas tax is less than that. You catch my drift?

The Detroit News reports that GM will be cutting one shift from its Flint, Pontiac, Oshawa, Ontario, and Janesville, WI factories by July 14. The slashing eliminates some 3,500 jobs from GM's North American workforce. The move eliminates produciton of some 50k body-on-frame vehicles– which have already fallen 100k due to the ongoing American Axle strike. Analyst Joe Phillippi of AutoTrends Consulting says this is gonna leave a mark. "These are the most profitable things they make, and losing those profits is going to hurt for the next three quarters." Still, there's no point in building 'em if nobody wants to buy them; GM has seen a 17 percent decline in pickup sales and a 29 percent drop in large SUVs in the first quarter of this year. Sure, cutting makes the powerless feel like they're in control, but until GM goes "down the road, not across the street," expect the misery and moodiness to continue.

Earlier today, automotive analysts blamed a large chunk of Daimler's Q4 profits downturn on its remaining 19.9 percent share in Chrysler. According to their calculations, Chrysler inflicted a $2.7b drag on Daimler. Although Market Watch duly reported that "the German automaker cautioned against making that calculation, citing the differences between international and U.S. accounting," Chrysler PR switched into damage control. An email pointed-out that the results are for Chrysler Holding LLC, which includes both the automotive and financial services operations. What's more, that accounting thing is a big deal. "There are significant differences between IFRS and U.S. GAAP accounting standards. Major differences include the effects of the acquisition of Chrysler Holding LLC by Cerberus, including recent restructuring actions by Chrysler LLC and the accounting for pension costs under the 2007 UAW contract. Accordingly, the 2007 financial results of Chrysler LLC under U.S. GAAP are substantially better than the IFRS-based financial results utilized by Daimler." Chrysler flackmeister Katie Hepler told TTAC that ChryCo "enjoyed positive operational earnings during Q4." So what about CEO Bob Nardelli's statement back in December that his employer was "operationally bankrupt?" No comment.