Ad agencies evaluate the effectiveness of their artistry using a "recall score." The metric measures how well consumers remember a brand and/or product within 24 hours of having seen its advert. A high recall score means the commercial hot-wired the product into the consumers' minds. A low score means the sponsor wasted their money. Although I watch quite a bit of TV, this semi-professional pistonhead can't recall more than a handful of car ads. So much for carmakers getting their money's worth.

I like to believe that the general population’s insensitivity to the joys of automotive design, engineering and performance is a simple matter of missed opportunity. If the average driver had suckled on Hot Wheels' sweet metallic tang from toddler-hood, if a mechanically-minded mentor had gently and gradually revealed the wondrous secrets of the automotive arts during their teenage years, if they’d been shown how to harness horsepower with skill and respect as adult drivers, they’d share my passion for cars with genuine soul. Meanwhile, Toyota sells millions of Corollas and no one complains. Why would they?

You can be the first on your block to own a hydrogen fuel cell car. For the mere sum of $99.99, Hammacher Schlemmer can fix you up with your own "hydrogen generating car" that features an "on-board reversible Polymer Electrolyte Membrane (PEM) fuel cell to conduct the entire hydrogen-generating and electrolytic process." The hydrogen is produced on board from distilled water using electric current from solar cells (or two AA batteries in low-light situations). It's not quite as sophisticated as Honda's Clarity, but still an interesting gadget to play with.

I can't get that friggin' song out of my head. Even my trusty pop hook removal methodology– humming Elvis' Rock A Hula Baby– won't exorcise the tune from my neurological pathways. I'm not sure what the Hell Electric Light Orchestra's hit has to do with driving an Accord, but whatever Honda paid for the rights, it was too little. If only they'd used the French chorus as well; a nation of American children would know what "accroches-toi a ton reve" means. Or not. I once met a beautiful young girl in Spain who could sing every single word of every single Yes song ever written with perfect inflection– without knowing what any of it meant. Come to think of it, I'm still trying to figure out how you send an instant karma to someone. Anyway, do people really dream of owning an Accord? Someday Pearl, when my ship comes in, I'm gonna buy me one of them Honda Accords. Why not? Those of us in the biz tend to forget how loopy people get over cars. Oh sure, we pistonheads go all loopy over Skyline GT-Rs and Maserati Quattroportes  and suchlike. But if you've never seen someone ooh and ah over an automotive appliance, you really should. It teaches you the power of dreams. Oh, hang on. That's it, isn't it? Right. Gotcha.

We here at TTAC spend a good part of our time trying to discern a car’s subjective worth. But the free market provides the final judgment. And when it comes time to rate an automobile manufacturer’s overall vitality, resale value is the way to go. Foresight, engineering and design all figure into what someone is willing to pay after the new car smell fades, when there’s a couple of Cheerios in the seat rails. Forget professional pundits and industry analysts; residual values are the ultimate arbiter of a carmaker’s strength. And guess what? Volkswagen is America’s most valued carmaker.

The Association of British Drivers (ABD) is calling for the UK government to get their thumbs out and start building some more damn roads already, and bloody well do something to improve the safety of the ones they've already got [paraphrasing]. "Major roads like the A1 still have dangerous crossing points in the central reservation, instead of proper graded junctions. It is outrageous that people continue to be killed in these places because the British Government refuses to invest in decent roads." As I discussed with ABD's affable spokesman Paul Biggs, the government is being pulled in two directions. On one hand, environmental pressure groups are pushing The Powers That Ride in Limos to legislate against car use (or at least tax the Hell out of it). On the other, the pols need new roads to stimulate the economy (so they can collect more taxes). And the winner is… stasis. "The government have listened to frankly silly suggestions from the anti roads lobby that 'roads create traffic' which is considered a 'bad thing', and so improving the roads has become taboo. On the contrary, removing roadspace and obstructing the roads is supposed to make traffic magically disappear, with no ill effects on people's lives." Supposed?

Far be it for us to suggest that Detroit's hometown newspaper would never attack a Big 2.8 product with as much venomous vigor as Scott Burgess unleashes upon Scion's revised xD. So we won't. We'll just share some of the Detroit News' scribes's spleen venting and call it good (well, that's what our Megan Benoit did; awarding the xD four stars). So, how ugly is it? "Scion calls the flat-edged exterior 'aggressive styling,' but it comes across more Elephant Man than Man About Town." Cabin OK? "The interior materials felt like rejects from Chinese toy manufacturers. There is nothing inspiring or even interesting inside the xD." Ride quality? "Coarse and extremely loud." Steering? "The electric power steering is too sensitive, causing the xD to weave from side to side at the slightest movement, and it feels disconnected to the road." Anything nice to say? "The one area where the xD excels is parking. With its size, it's easy to move into the smallest spots. Plus, when you're parking, you know the driving experience is nearly over and you've arrived at your destination." Props to Burgess for not pulling his punches and the DTN for publishing his xD diatribe. Now, can we get Mr. Burgess’ take on the Chevrolet Aveo?

The cover of Motor Trend's (MT) November issue (written in February) featured some rendered speculation on the shape and style of the next generation Corvette [top secret]. When our resident photochopper asked what we'd like for this week's exclusive image, I set him to work on an alternative version. Mr. Avarvarii clearly agrees with MT that the new 'Vette will be like the current car, only more so. His report: "Well, I have to admit this one was tricky. Designing (or pretending to do so on) an American automotive icon at it's seventh incarnation. It's no walk in park. No wonder those guys only do it once a decade. I went for a retro-angular-chopped approach. that seems to be the tendency for the next decade. I know the result is not exactly a work of art, but if we consider the limited development time (and the fact that I'm European) it's not that bad." Not that bad at all.  

[For more Avarvarii photochopistry, click here.] 

Forbes reports that GM's joint venture with Shanghai Automotive Industry Corporation (SAIC) is spawning yet another joint venture: Shanghai OnStar Telematics Co. The partners plan to offer the same range of services for OnStar's international debut that are available to North American customers. Although the Chinese government exercises iron-fisted control over technology and communications, OnStar president Chet Huber is optimistic they won't have any problems. Probably not, especially once the government finds out the OnStar can track citizens' movements and eavesdrop on their conversations. Anyway, Kevin Wale, president of GM China Group has equally high hopes: "We expect OnStar to have a similar impact in China as in the U.S." Thank goodness for that — thousands of Chinese can sleep safe in the knowledge that one day soon they'll never have to worry about locking their keys in their cars again.

There are times when you think the people running GM's Saab division are hampered by the corporate handcuffs. And there are times when you say "someone's been hitting the Glögg a bit too hard." This is one of those occasions. At the New England Auto Show, Saab has just debuted the Turbo X, with its fancy new AWD system and 280 horses (that's an extra 30). Great! If any car has been screaming for all wheel-drive, it's the Saab 9-3. And why not Boston? Saab’s remaining 11 new car customers are all Ivy League college professors seducing students deep in the snowy Northeast, and they need the AWD for their weekend ski trips. So far, so good. Now the bad news: it's $42,510. That's more money than an Audi A4 3.2 Quattro, Infiniti G35x, or BMW 335xi. At an insanely high price like that, it's no wonder they are only importing 600 of them. If you're one of the few, you can get it in any color you want, so long as it's black.