I really do wonder about the clash of ideologies inherent in the green movement. I'm just about old enough to remember America's transition from seemingly boundless self-confidence and optimism (retro-actively captured by Donald Fagen's masterpiece The Nightfly) to cynicism, doubt, fear and self-loathing (typified by Buffalo Springfield's "Stop, hey what's that sound"). Automotively speaking, what greater contrast could you have than the bold, brash, befinned Cadillacs of the '50's vs. today's Kremlin-style DTS? But the wider point perplexes. Are we really supposed to be the generation that turns it back on conspicuous consumption in favor of social responsibility? While I am, at heart, a minimalist, I find the idea of peak oil and global warming and don't drive an SUV or a Ferrari 'cause you're killing my child, your child, everyone's children to be somehow antithetical to the American way. I know that the 50's weren't a lot of laughs for a lot of people, and that "the American way" as described revolts many people, but is it really so wrong to celebrate conspicuous consumption? While some– and I'm thinking Tesla here– capture the public imagination with a "cake and eat it too" solution, I'm not so sure we can have it both ways. Nor am I sure I can give up the things I love for the greater good. Just sayin'. 

I think it's safe to say to place this theory somewhere between Big Oil/Detroit's alleged conspiracy against the electric car and Erich von Daniken's Chariots of the Gods, ascribing human technological advances to alien visitations. Robert Horvath is the former Coral Gables Oldsmobile dealer who somehow decided that Oldsmobile's road to oblivion wasn't paved with good intentions and/or the inevitable result of a confederacy of dunces. While I haven't read Horvath's tome Project 2000, I read the press release, which, sensibly enough, makes no mention of the Toyota angle. By the end of our chat, I was feeling sorry for Mr. Horvath. No matter what you think of the wisdom of killing Olds, it behooves us to remember the executive actions have very real human consequences.

Mitsubishi, once the poster child for how to kill an auto company, is on the rebound. Bloomberg reports that Mitsu posted a 14 percent gain in global sales during the last financial quarter. That's higher then even Toyota, who only posted a 3.4 percent gain. Proving there's life after [Chrysler's] bad management and marketing decisions, covering up quality issues and offering lackluster products, the company showed their first profit in three years for the 12 months ending March 31. Mitsu credits "re-establishing public trust and boosting quality" for the recovery. While sales are climbing on the world scene, it's a different matter on the home front. Sales in Japan are down 16 percent, reflecting an aging population and shrinking market. Come to think of it, this all sounds like a couple of American manufacturers whose overseas sales are keeping the home-market operation afloat.. Huh.

After enough inter-company Powerpoint presentations to stupefy marketing mavens in three companies (Google, Yahoo! and DaimlerChrysler Research, Engineering and Design North America), Mercedes is adding a "Search and Send" function to its OnStar-like telematics and emergency response system. You search for destinations on either Google or Yahoo!, press "send to car," jump in your mighty Merc, press the i button on the Tele Aid system and decide whether or not to start your odyssey (not Honda) or save the info for laterhosen. The feature will be available on the S-Class and the new C-Class from September 5; no word on retrofitting. Nor do we have any info on possible security breaches, as the system also allows "friends" to send you route guidance info. Given our recent report on compromised real-time traffic info, is that a hacker's heads-up or what? 

"Wow, I can actually feel better about my carbon footprint!" So proclaimeth an unknown supporter on Carbonfund.org's website. According to Environmentalleader.com, VW's down with that. The environmental campaigners report that the German automaker will supply the "fund" in Carbonfund's plan to buy and reforest 1,100 acres of the Lower Mississippi Alluvial Valley, Louisiana. In case you're wondering how they do the math, "the offsets will be based on the average annual emissions for each different type of model sold in the four-month period." It's not an open-ended deal; VW will cover carbon emissions for vehicles sold from September 1, 2007 until January 2, 2008. But the company invites new owners to keep paying for their guilt environmental impact by continuing the offset arrangement into the new year. In fact, VeeDub's putting a "carbon calculator" on an official micro site hosted by… Carbonfund.org.   

Press cars are specially selected, carefully prepared and meticulously maintained. Why wouldn’t they be? You can hardly expect a manufacturer to pluck a car from the assembly line and trust their model’s reputation to the vagaries of quality control– even though the car’s less likely to receive a harsh critique than a seventh grade production of The Wizard of Oz. To their credit, the manufacturers eventually “let go;” surrendering specially selected, carefully prepared new vehicles to the buff books’ long-term fleets. When things go wrong, as they do, the result betrays the tension between payola and editorial credibility. 

The Detroit Free Press (and just about every other media outlet on planet Earth) reports that U.S. presidential hopeful John Edwards wants you to surrender your SUV. Speaking at a forum sponsored by the International Association of Machinists and Aerospace Workers, Mr. Edwards said if he was emperor president he would order ask Americans to turn in give up their gas-guzzling SUVs and "drive more fuel-efficient vehicles." Of course, the millionaire friend of the working class didn't address the exodus' impact on the United Auto Workers, or how he might dispose of all these abandoned vehicles. On a related topic, Edwards defended his $6m energy-sucking 28,000-square-foot mansion by saying he's worked hard all his life and has always supported workers– especially those who built, clean and maintain his energy-sucking 28,000-square-foot mansion. (OK, I added that last part.) And all those people who worked hard to buy a gas-sucking SUV? Apparently, that's different.

According to Speigel, Apple's Steve Jobs and VW's boss Martin Winterkorn met in California a few days ago to discuss "various projects," and set an agenda for several meetings to come. The magazine speculated that there might be a joint project: an "iCar" integrating Apple's design principles into a future "supercool" VW model. Asked about the new Wolfsburg-Cupertino axis of gizmo, a VW spokesman refused to supply details, admitting only that Jobs and Winterkorn had discussed "a lot of ideas." Given that Apple tends to ostracize any business partner who spills the beans on new projects, the iCar could be DOA. True to form, Apple will refuse to comment on the iDea, and Wolfsburg will try to spin it as a hiptastic attempt to bring der bling to die Volk. (iCarumba!) Saying that, in '03, [both] U.S. new Beetle buyers received a "free" Apple iPod during their sci-fi oblivious "Pods Unite" promotion.

And that's it: the whole story, via contactmusic.com. While some of us have never forgiven the former Mrs. John Lennon for breaking-up the Beatles, this stunning example of political incorrectness is bound to awaken an entirely new generation of Ono detractors. You know, provided she said it. 'Cause we can't find the origin of this remark, which the aforementioned Beatles fans are sure to spread throughout cyberspace (with our help). Anyway, THIS is the time for Lexus PR to step up to the plate and promote their forthcoming 600h L. Something tells me Ms. Ono wouldn't mind accepting a free loaner in exchange for promoting the world's most expensive– and luxurious– hybrid. Of course, she'd need to keep making stupid statements to get enough publicity to make it worth their while, and God knows WHAT she might say. I dunno, something like, curry powder prevents Alzheimer's. Wait, done.

Brandweek and Adage report that Mercedes will launch a big ass (my words) marketing campaign for their new C-Class on September 10, aiming to woo buyers with ads that stress the sedan's build quality and precision engineering. Without a trace of irony, Merc marketing maven Steve Cannon says his employer aims to show potential buyers that its "entry-level offering is as solid and dependable as its most expensive models." No wonder, then, that Cannon aiming the spots at first time buyers (i.e. buyers who never personally experienced the discrepancy between Mercedes' rep for reliability and their actual reliability). More specifically, Mercedes' core target "is 35 to 45 years old, equally male and female, educated and with a household income of about $100,000." While one wonders how many Mercedes buyers are (or are willing to admit to being) equally male and female, you've got to admire the former Airborne Ranger's spunk. When Ad Age asked from whence cometh potential C-Classers, Cannon showed confidence, hipness and a genuine talent for jargon: "The usual suspects: luxury competitors like BMW, Infiniti, Lexus and Audi and a lot of what feeds this segment is highly equipped nonluxury products." Highly equipped nonluxury products? Somebody get that man a Honduran cigar!