My Four Favorite Cars

As a pistonhead of independent means, I’ve been lucky enough to own and sample a vast array of automotive hardware. If I had a car for every time a friend, associate, colleague or innocent bystander asked me to name my favorite car, I’d see Jay Leno’s aircraft hangar and raise him a Space Shuttle shelter. Of course, drilling down to one top whip would be like asking Angelina Jolie to name her least favorite husband—in reverse. Still, in the interests of stimulating debate, here are my four faves. I make no apologies for the fact that they’re all German; in the grand TTAC style, I call it like I see it and let the lederhosen fall where they may.

#4 Volkswagen GTI

At best, the new GTI is cute; at worst, it’s pug ugly. Like it or loathe it, you gotta love it: the GTI is the hardest working car in show business. How many vehicles offer this much performance and practicality for $24k? During my first week behind the wheel, I was convinced the speedometer was busted. Everywhere I drove, it read 90 mph. (The California Highway Patrol eventually verified the speedo’s accuracy.) When VW sent me one of those little plastic “Fast” thingies to thank me for my purchase, I mounted it in on the dash. Whenever my wife asks me to slow down, I just point and tell her to “Talk to the Fast.”

For a tallish front driver, the handling is supernaturally stable and sticky. The DSG transmission is almost as much fun as masturbation, except that I can’t match downshifts as smoothly. When I’m not paddling to paradise, I get 29 miles per gallon and satellite radio (a $1,000 option in my Civic, even though the radio proclaimed “XM Ready”). Sure, there’s a lot of plastic and the plaid (plaid?) seats are almost as hard to adjust as an iDrive radio, but otherwise, the GTI is a knockout for the money.

#3 BMW 330i

I’ve owned six of these ultimate driving machines in various guises, and they’ve all been a delight. The 3-Series [still] boasts a superbly communicative helm; powerful, feelsome brakes and the world’s smoothest six-banger. Generally speaking, you also get the best ride-handling trade off in the business: a car that cruises and thrashes with equal aplomb. Even though the Bavarians have done their level best to screw-up the basics with ill-considered over-engineering— numb active steering, stiff and loud run flat tires, badly Bangled sheetmetal, cost-cutting plastics— the 3-Series remains the sine qua non of sports sedans.

#2 Porsche 911 Carrera

No car handles, brakes and accelerates with more effortless élan than a 911 Carrera. Once a Spartan sports car for the chronically over-moneyed, the latest iteration offers enough electronic aids and creature comforts to soothe an S-Classicist. Just be sure to pack platinum plastic; breathe on the options list and you can kiss $10k goodbye. Pant on it and it’s entirely possible to drop $100k on the world’s fastest daily driver. Not that it’ll look it. Although the highly evolved Carerra shape is wandering into self-parody and ennui, there’s something legally attractive about a bling-less car that pumps out this much performance. A little more torque on the down-low and a little less impact from potholes would be nice (the tire and wheel choice have severe repercussions on ride quality), but otherwise the 911 is still high performance perfection.

#1 Mercedes E320 CDI / E55 AMG Wagon

One million German taxi drivers can’t be wrong: the E-Class is a hit. The E320 CDI version is my favorite iteration of this best selling mid-sized sedan. The oil burner’s 21 gallon fuel tank has carried me all the way from Phoenix to San Francisco; that’s 775 miles without stopping to fill the tank (just to empty my own). At the same time, the CDI stumps-up more torque than the current V8 (this will change shortly). Despite a little lag off the line, it’s faster than most petrol-powered sixes. Although the cabin lacks spizzarkle, the big E-z carries four adults and their stuff in bovine-skinned luxury and wood-grained comfort. She’ll dance (waltz, not salsa) when the rhythm of the road requires, even if the numb helm makes the car Vicodin-on-wheels. Mercedes promises that the new, monster E63 AMG will have more responsive steering and corner more eagerly (you’d certainly hope so). The improved dynamics wouldn’t go amiss further down the food chain.

Meanwhile, the E55 AMG (soon to be E63) Wagon is da bomb. Turn off the big rig’s traction control and you can leave Hemis behind in a cloud of tire smoke. Contrary to popular belief, this is not the perfect car for guys who like to drive fast and own big dogs; they’d have to constantly clean doggy slobber off the rear window. It’s the ultimate Q ship.