Mercedes Benz R500 Review

The Mercedes-Benz R500 has three rows of seats, so it can’t be a sedan. It’s too tall for a station wagon, too low for a minivan and lacks sufficient ground clearance for an SUV. If you define a “crossover” as an automobile that doesn’t fit into any known genre, then the R500’s got it nailed. For its part, Mercedes calls the R-Class a “grand sports tourer”. A rose by any other name… and the question remains. Is the R-Class a genuine game changer or simply a clever attempt to get new money for old rope?

A close examination of the R500’s content reveals some decidedly familiar kit. The big Merc shares its platform, manufacturing facility and full-time four-wheel-drive system with the latest generation M-Class SUV. The R500’s V8, a Mercedes staple, is married to Stuttgart’s supernaturally-smooth seven-speed automatic transmission. Naturally, the R-Class inherits every safety acronym in Stuttgart’s playbook: ABS, ASR, ESP, BA and, no doubt, an MFA from USC.

Stylistically, the R-Class borrows heavily from the CLS chop-top . The R500’s headlights, grille and hood wedge down into a centerline crease, while the swoopy side windows create a surfer’s perfect curl. The rear declares its independence; the side contours curve into bulbous shapes in the lift gate, with keyhole-lensed taillights. It's a radical statement, but anything less would have tagged the R500 as a minivan wannabe.

The original press reports on the new Mercedes M-Class SUV claimed it had car-like handling. It didn’t. The same will be said about the R-Class twin-under-the-skin. It doesn’t. The R500’s driver’s seat is well forward in the wheelbase and the H-point (the driver’s hip location inside the chassis) is a lot higher than a standard sedan’s. The combination creates excellent visibility, but delivers fundamentally different balance reference points than a car. In other words, steering a sailboat from halfway up the mast doesn’t feel the same as when you’re standing on the deck.

Our test R500 came equipped with optional Airmatic adaptive damping. The system adjusts the R500’s shock absorber settings every .05 seconds. It automatically firms-up in the corners, softens for rough roads and drops the car’s chassis (at 77mph) for improved handling, stability and reduced drag. There’s also a switch to increase the vehicle’s ground clearance by roughly three inches for deep snow or traversing that two-track leading to your cabin in the Adirondacks.

When fully exercised, the R500’s V8 emits a healthy snarl. The engine stumps-up enough oomph to hustle the nearly two-and-a-half ton crossover from zero to sixty in an entirely respectable 6.5 seconds. Yes, there is that. Even with all-wheel drive constantly searching for maximum traction, the R500 is simply too bulky to earn the right to place “sport” and “R500” in the same brochure .

In more sedate situations, the R500 offers all the practicality of a minivan— without the flexibility of a high roof or room for seven. On the positive side, three kids, one friend and a large Coleman cooler is quite enough for one outing, thank you very much. And the R’s rear seats fold en masse for a fully flat cargo area, or individually, for those rare occasions when you’re carrying four people and a grandfather clock.

Predictably, the R-Class’ option list is almost as long as the credit application. The optional Rear Seat Entertainment System allows middle passengers individual control of the audio and video delights, but denies the same power to passengers vegging in the way back. The R500's optional panoramic sunroof package includes a normal sunroof and a deeply tinted roof above the second and third row seats. It’s excellent for curing D-pillar claustrophobia, as well as a quick, neck straining tour of the Manhattan skyline.

Women who wish to watch from the back of the bus will not be well pleased with R-Class ingress. There’s no way to enter the rear seats without mooning the assembled multitudes. Exit is no more graceful. J-Lo may be expert at backing out of marriages, but don’t look for her to reverse engineer herself from the rear seat of an R-Class anytime soon. And don’t look if she does.

Personal indignity aside, the R500 has a lot to recommend it. It’s roomier than a sedan and almost as practical as an SUV (and a lot less thirsty). The R is also sleeker than any current minivan, handles better and leaves mom’s people carrier in the dust. In sum, Stuttgart (via Alabama) has assembled something unique from their well-established box of tricks. Whether or not the R500 is worth the usual three-pointed premium depends as much on customers’ aversion to other genres as their attraction to Mercedes’ brave new wheels.

[For more of John Matras' reviews, please visit www.carbuzzard.com ]